Cryptids

Local Characters

Guy

Lorry driver hated by all other lorry drivers for reasons undisclosed. Asked my mum (on the PTA) if my primary school could use some paper and card. Subsequently arrived at my house with a van packed to the roof with industrial looking wrapped packages of cardstock with the instruction not to ask where they came from, but that no one would ever know anyway.

Mad Mick

Wandered the streets with an air rifle taking shots at random. Demanded to be shot in the mouth with a super soaker even after being told it was full of pond water. Would probably have still gone for it if it was full of piss.

Cocky

Army rolled over three tables in a row in order to punch one of the school mean girls in the face. Took quite a while. Plenty of time for her to get out of the line of fire, but she stood and waited to see what happened instead. No one seemed to think she didn’t deserve it. Maybe not even her.

Gervaise

Latched on to me and my friends at our local pub. Asked me one day if I wanted to see a photo of his baby, and then explained that he’s no longer allowed to see said baby by order of the courts. Diligently avoided from then on.

Karaoke Krapsticks (or something like that)

A couple who ran a karaoke business where you hire them to sing karaoke at parties. Apparently it’s a thing. Offered to lend me their camper van, but the camper van looked like when you see a caravan used as a chicken coop on a crap farm that’s used as a front for a serial killer. Offer politely refused.

Carla

Smelled constantly and strongly of Shepherd’s Pie. Otherwise normal.